Saving Face….

Sometimes being wrong when you are right is the right thing to do. I have been networking extensively in IT circles in the Minneapolis market. I had lunch with an IT executive well over a month ago to talk about my company and how I might be of assistance to him or his firm. The meeting was set up though a very respected mutual friend. My new contact expressed a high degree of interest in me and the work that I have been involved with. He wanted me to meet his boss the following week and his enthusiasm appeared to me to be sincere. Following the meeting I followed up with the traditional “thank you” email etc.

A couple of weeks passed and I didn’t hear from him; I decided to send a gentle reminder note to see if I could get an update. He didn’t respond so a few days later I called him in the office. His assistant said he was in but was too busy to talk. She said my contact promised to call me that evening; he didn’t. Long story short my attempting to connect went on for weeks without any response. Naturally I felt a bit confused about his apparent disinterest in connecting and I was even a bit put off by his “ignoring” me. I was disappointed by his lack of responsiveness. I know if the situation were reversed, I would have responded as promised. Not responding is bad business. We are all ambassadors of the firms we work for; not to mention your actions define your personal brand.

A number of thoughts ran through my mind. Out of frustration I wanted to send him a note telling him to buzz-off and not waste my time. A confidant of mine who understood the details of the dialogue and the situation suggested that I take an alternative approach. I was reminded that in some cultures there are mechanisms that allow people to save face. Her perspective was that my contact let the connection lapse too long and was embarrassed about not being responsive. Even though he dropped the ball in the communication process I was the one that stood to lose an opportunity. She suggested that I send a note indicating that I was out of contact for a period of time and exhort him not to take it as a lack of interest on my part. I reiterated my gratitude for his help and acknowledged that I needed his help to make the right connection at his firm.

I decided to give it a try. I swallowed my pride and sent a message of apology and to my surprise it worked! He received my email and within 30 minutes responded with a note saying how busy he was and thanking me for understanding. By making myself wrong, even though I felt indignant and right he saved face and felt safe enough to respond. He gave me the contact information I needed and he endorsed me to his boss. The power of networking when done properly delivers results.

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